Smartest Person In Office Just Really Good At Googling

Salina, KS – As coworkers at e-commerce conglomerate Amuerto commend Tracy Adams for his flawless, quick-thinking problem solving across every department within the company, he credits his ability to being able to type relevant searches into Google and correctly picking solutions that other people have already created.  Adams, an analyst hired less than six months ago, estimates that he gets the right answer from the very first Google search result roughly 99% of the time.

While Adams’ boss, senior analyst Emily Hamilton, considers him to be “a relentless self-starter that won’t let anything stop him from getting to the best solution”, Adams has never had to put more than five minutes into a quick Google search to find an answer he deems “good enough”.  Some of the questions that Adams has solved include:

  • How to not get sued for plagiarism
  • What’s the difference between profit and revenue
  • How to not keep site from getting hacked
  • What is the legal age of consent in Kansas
  • How to get emails out of spam filters
  • Why is the toilet not filling back up with water
  • How long does milk stay good after the expiration date
  • When does daylight savings begin
  • Why is “password” a bad password

Adams plans to Google his most ambitious question next week: “how to save Amuerto’s failing business model”.  Sources say he expects to find the answer on either Quora or Reddit.

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