Salem, OR – Jake Pritchard, recent college graduate and entry level receptionist at Salem Orthodontics, purchased the latest iPhone Xs Max for over $1,100, despite owing the University of Oregon over $70,000 for his sociology degree. Pritchard, who has never heard of the concept of a budget, let alone set one for himself, considered it a reward for getting his first “real-world” job where he makes $12.00/hour.
“I’ve had some pretty big aspirations for myself, and I’m pretty blessed to have done so much so quickly,” said Pritchard, who has no plans to find a career using his sociology degree, nor any motivation to pursue a career as an orthodontist. “It’s important to me that my phone reflects my success. It’s also super important to me that I can send Memojis to my friends, because it’s way cooler than their lame Bitmojis.”
Pritchard has spent over 18 hours customizing his Memoji.
Coworkers at Salem Orthodontics have shown happiness for Pritchard’s latest iPhone and have politely sat through his repeated demonstrations of unlocking his phone simply by looking at it. Multiple sources confirmed that they have all successfully withheld berating him about why he would waste his money on something so unnecessary or if his parents know how awful he is at saving money.
Pritchard’s weekend plans include finding the perfect case for his iPhone Xs Max and continuing to ignore the check engine light in his 2009 Honda Civic.