Company Removes ‘Don’t Be A Criminal’ Clause From Its Code of Conduct

Rochester, NY – Keen observers astutely noticed that email delivery platform Mailo-Sailo quietly removed “don’t be a criminal” from its corporate code of conduct.  The change occurred roughly around the same time that CEO Dexter Malvin was charged with a dozen counts of sexual harassment by former female employees and Malvin’s son and V.P. of Marketing, Thad Malvin, was charged with two counts of whale hunting.  While most employees at Mailo-Sailo were worried about the change’s effects on corporate culture, Mailo-Sailo’s up-and-coming “Spam and Identity Theft” division was thrilled by the news.

It was also noted that the phrase “if you see any criminal activity, report it!” was replaced with “snitches get stitches, can’t trust the Feds”.

Thandie Malvin, V.P. of Human Resources at Mailo-Sailo, stated that the change had nothing to do with the charges facing their leadership, but was instead removed “to better create a non-discriminatory workplace that doesn’t judge a person by the color of their skin, the deity they worship, or the multiple felonies they have pleaded ‘no contest’ to.”

Mailo-Sailo officials have yet to respond regarding why “be willing to take a case for your boss” was added to the code of conduct.

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