Savannah, GA – Domestic shipping company WeHaulIt has hit a roadblock in its office renovation after office manager Tammy Wentz has been unable to determine whether the transgender bathroom should have a standing urinal, in what has now come under nationwide scrutiny as social media scrutinizes her every decision. Wentz, a divorced mother of three known for her love of cat calendars and Georgia Bulldogs football, has confided to coworkers that she feels overwhelmed about what she should do and that she just wanted to “spruce up the office with whatever was on discount at Living Spaces.”
In order to make the right decision, Wentz has talked with her children, binge-watched MTV and Bravo, and started a discussion on her local Facebook group about what she should do. However, the top response was simply a picture of one of the minion characters from the Despicable Me movie saga that was questioning Colin Kaepernick’s motives for kneeling during the national anthem.
Executives at WeHaulIt have avoided weighing in on the issue, instead pinning the decision on Wentz’s shoulders. Founder and CEO Mark Limson refused to provide any opinion on whether there should be a standing urinal in the transgender bathroom, instead complimenting Wentz for “not listening to the “liberal eco-terrorists and getting the office a Keurig coffee machine”. Limson then followed up by saying “God bless America” seven times in a row.
Wentz plans on making a decision as soon as she finishes reading up on some WebMD articles this afternoon.