Lafayette, LA – In a groundbreaking effort to create a unified, accepting workplace, ad agency Adventurini updated its code of conduct to not discriminate against any employee that busts some stankbutt at work. The full text states that “all employees, contractors, and guests at Adventurini are more than welcome to openly display their flatulence, from the tiniest of toot flutes to gigantic cruise ship honks; all are welcome and none shall be discriminated simply due to biological design (except for sharters; under no circumstances will this be tolerated).”
The innovative policy was met with open arms and spread cheeks as employees quickly took advantage of the relaxed atmosphere, with early feedback describing it as “liberating”, “freeing”, and “rooting, tooting, no-more-time-wasted-poopin'”. As a sign of celebration, some Adventurini employees are even putting together an impromptu chili cook-off next week, though they have been directed by H.R. to “please, for the love of everyone, have the event outdoors”.
Not everyone at Adventurini are tooting their own horn, as some anonymous sources have pooh-poohed the decision as a step backwards in social dignity and a loss of decorum. However, they feel that their voices aren’t being heard within the company, mainly due to a symphony of rumpshaking sun salutations that can be smelled from a mile away.
Understandably, Glad air fresheners have also been deemed mandatory by office management.