Google+ Hack Compromises Data of Thousands of Google Employees

Mountain View, CA – Thousands of Google employees found their personal information lost after the company’s signature social media network, Google+, hacked over seven months ago.  While this has left over 88,000 Google employee’s data exposed, it has fortunately zero ramifications outside of the company since literally no one uses the platform, mainly because the only reason someone would use Google+ is if they were literally paid to do so.

Security technicians at Google stated that the hack was a result of a myriad of factors that pretty much all rolled back up to the fact that everyone literally forgot that Google+ even existed.  Jeff Thornton, digital security consultant, rued over the fact that legacy websites are often most vulnerable due to a lack of awareness to their very existence.

“My goodness,” shuddered Thornton.  “I just shudder to think what would happen if these same hackers are able to crack into Altavista.com, Geocities.com, or Hotornot.com.”

The SEC, which is responsible for issuing fines to tech companies that allow a data breach, is unsure of how to proceed in this instance since the only users compromised are also employees of the company.  Based on initial conversations, the SEC is prepared to fine Elon Musk over $50 million as a response.

Google has promised to put safeguards in place so that Google+ data would never be stolen again, mainly by shutting down the redundant service altogether, effective immediately.

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