Lafayette, LA – Tech conglomerate Exescent faced internal protests from its employees after it was discovered that their monthly employee recognition program, dedicated to rewarding the company’s top performers for the month, does not officially recognize the Ottoman government’s slaughter of over 1.5 million Armenians as a genocide. Exescent refused to comment on the matter, stating that its employee recognition program “is really more focused on rewarding outstanding performance than speaking out against modern history’s worst crimes”.
“Our recognition program is meant to be a fun morale booster,” stated H.R. Director Katherine Paul. “Typically we give out a few Starbucks cards, maybe a Jamba Juice card if the person doesn’t drink caffeine. It’s really meant to focus on any wins that happened last month, not how to categorize the systematic mass murder carried out from 1915-1917.”
To many Exescent employees, however, the recognition program should be refocused on larger goals.
“It’s time Exescent stood for something greater,” said Jeanette Duncan, social media coordinator. “Instead of recognizing who made the most sales or whose code had the fewest bugs, we should be fighting history’s greatest injustices.
“Also, who wants coffee shop and juice shop gift cards? Give us Amazon cards, that’s almost better than cash.”