Group of CEOs Each Waiting For Someone Else To Call Uber

Washington, D.C. – After answering questions during an all-day deposition at the Senate, beleagured CEOs from prominent tech companies all waited awkwardly for someone else to call an Uber back to their respective hotels. The Silicon Valley elite originally planned on taking a Lyft, but plans were cancelled upon finding out that Chad Milton’s 25% off coupon was only valid on weekends.

Talks devolved around whether an UberX or Uber Black should be called, with discussions coming to an ignominious end when Dave Mylol, whose company has sold user data to Mexican drug cabals, suggested taking an Uber Pool.

Later that evening, a solution was found after Dwight Letty, CEO of Permizquous, flew his executive assistant into Reagan Airport in his private jet so that she could schedule their rides.

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