“Case of the Mondays” Revealed To Be Ebola Virus

El Paso, TX -After coming into work with what she thought was simply “a case of the Mondays”, Valerie Gu was instead shocked to find out that she had actually contracted the Ebola virus.  Gu mistakenly thought that the symptoms, which include headache, fever, nausea, and vomiting blood, were just her body’s natural reaction to dreading the upcoming work week.  Gu’s coworkers, family, and fellow passengers on her flight back from the Congo have all been put into quarantine as a precautionary follow-up.

“Honest mistake that thousands of people make, I’m sure,” said Gu from her isolation room at Kindred Hospital El Paso.  “People come into the office sick all the time, last winter I came in and everybody had the flu.  It’s pretty much the same thing.”

Gu’s dedication to come to work while under the weather has earned respect from her coworkers, but at times it’s created frustration as well.

“I’ve always appreciated Valerie’s dedication to the job,” stated Guy’s manager, Rob Dupont.  “She’s never called in sick, even that one time when she was in a plane crash over the Rockies and spent the weekend trapped in the snow-filled mountains.  Pretty sure she lost a couple toes, but she was back in the office on Monday.  It probably would’ve been a good idea for Val to call out sick when she noticed she was bleeding from the eyes, though.”

Despite being infected with one of the worst diseases in human history, Gu has remained optimistic, instead focusing on “just making it past Hump Day” .

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