Lansing, MI – Glen Bowen, front-end developer for Superibly, drew unwanted attention to himself after coworkers noticed that his second monitor is never used for work and is instead streaming Youtube videos from the moment Bowen sits down at his cubicle. While Bowen requested the additional monitor as a means of improving his productivity, sources in the tech department have confirmed that these videos are never work-related, with the vast majority being clips from cartoon shows from the ’90’s. Sources reported seeing tutorials on craft beer brewing, self-myofascial release, and highlights of the early 2000’s Seattle Supersonics.
“IT gave Glen a Samsung 34″ LED Curved QHD FreeSync monitor,” said Alyssa Cobb, Director of Engineering. “It’s the highest resolution monitor on the market, and all I ever see him doing with it is watch Duck Tales, or Transformers, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When I told Glen to stop, he responded that he had to watch the originals since the new remakes all ‘suck’.”
Bowen has defended his second monitor usage and its positive impact on his productivity.
“There’s no way to quantify how much more productive I am with this other monitor,” retorted Bowen. “First off, if I hadn’t watched that how-to video on how to iron your clothes with a skillet, I would look like crap at the office. And second off, it’s just not possible to measure how much more efficient I am at work with Youtube keeping my mind constantly stimulated.”
Cobb disagreed with Bowen’s assessment, pointing to multiple missed deadlines as “quantifiable evidence that he kinda sucks right now.”
Bowen’s requests for a mini fridge and foot massager are both currently pending.