Anonymous Email Claims To Be Part Of Resistance Movement Against CEO

Washington, D.C. – A bomb was dropped early this morning when an anonymous employee at Homotri sent a company-wide email about an organized opposition against the CEO, Marty York.  The email detailed a resistance effort pushing back against what they consider “repeated efforts by Marty York to create an inhospitable work environment, with actions including, but not limited to:

  • not buying an espresso machine; instead only offering Keurig cups for coffee
  • repeatedly denying requests to add a sauna to in-office gym
  • no triple-ply toilet paper in restrooms
  • not providing time off for Scientology holidays
  • Marty not sharing his Netflix login

But even with these legitimate complaints falling on deaf ears, our undercover operatives have managed to keep Marty from growing even more reckless.  We’ve been able to ensure that women can wear yoga pants on Fridays, and that it’s still okay to expense lunches even if you order a drink or six.”

Homotri VP of H.R. Aliza Romeo shrugged off the content of the email.  “Yeah, we all know it’s Ben (York, Marty’s son),” she said.  “He brings literally every single one of those complaints up in our all-hands meetings.

Also, he included his email signature, because he’s kind of an idiot.”

 

 

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