Fort Worth, TX – Tasked with demonstrating how to set up online conferences to all her coworkers at Dynonoodle, office manager Jamie Goodwin has one single wish: no questions whatsoever from the audience. Jodi Morris, Dynonoodle COO, requested that she go through with the training seminar even though Goodwin’s two greatest fears are either getting kidnapped like Liam Neeson’s daughter in Taken or being asked a question that she doesn’t know the answer to in front of all her coworkers.
“All I want to do at work is come in, do my job, and never get pushed out of my comfort zone by having to interact with coworkers or think beyond my own scope,” stated Goodwin. “Why do we have headphones if we’re not supposed to just ignore each other? What’s the point of asking me a question when Bill Gates invented Google?”
Goodwin confirmed reports that she would subject herself to extreme measures to avoid ever being asked a question in the future. “I would trade the ability to have children and go completely barren if it meant I would never have to present for a meeting again.
“If I see a single hand go up, I’m going to fake a heart attack and sue the company for emotional harassment,”
Sources close to Goodwin report that she intends to break up with her boyfriend of three years if he asks her what she wants for dinner just one more time.