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Office Fight Club Successfully Replaces Office Book Club

San Pedro, CA – Executives at Audescent, long looking for a way to improve office event participation, may have finally found success after converting the long-standing office book club to an underground parking lot fight club.  The idea actually came during a book club meeting when two coworkers, Jeff Sagebrush and Sid Jaynes, got into a particularly heated argument over Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club, and decided to settle it by seeing who could knock the other unconscious first.

Sagebrush was able to put Jaynes into a rear naked chokehold, forcing him to both tap out and admit that The Joy Luck Club is the best generational saga of Asian women integrating into American culture.

“It was literally the most exciting thing that has ever happened during our book club,” said Sheilah Ashworth, HR director.  “When Jeff and Sid started fighting, almost the entire office was there, and that’s when it hit me:  what if we all just started beating the s— out of each other instead of reading crappy high school summer books?  Why read The Hunger Games when we can throw our own actual Hunger Game?”

According to Ashworth, over 90% of Audescent attends office fight club.  While there have been some challenges, such as almost all employees requesting a fight with their boss, it has also lead to unintended wins as well.  “I’m proud to see our employees taking much more advantage of our healthcare plan,”, Ashworth beamed.

The fight club was originally scheduled for once a month, but due to popular demand it now meets Mondays, Wednesdays, and anytime someone looks at Julia in accounting funny.

 

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