Bethlehem, PA – Pixotree employees were disheartened to learn that the fire department successfully extinguished the microwave fire instead of burning down the company altogether. Instead, the firefighters put out the fire using the on-site fire extinguisher located in the kitchen adjacent to the microwave.
Upon returning to the office, coworkers found themselves discussing all of the dreams they would have pursued had the office burned to the ground, such as joining the senior PGA tour, catching up on “A Handmaid’s Tale”, and running for president of the United States of America.
Ted Harper, sales director, had already called two of his college friends about restarting their garage band, “Funk You Up”, when he found out that they could return to work immediately. Harper, a lifelong Catholic, took the quick and efficient response from the fire department as a sign that there is no god.
Pixotree employees continue to hold out hope for a localized meteor strike that craters the office upon impact.