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Coworker Calls in Sick Due to Bubonic Plague

Savannah, GA – Natasha Fuller was forced to take a sick day yesterday, telling her manager that she had been diagnosed with the bubonic plague.  Previously this year, Fuller had called in sick due to a car accident, a kidnapping scenario like the movie “Taken”, a plane crash, and a coma.

The bubonic plague, also referred to as “the Black Death”, is best known for killing over 50 million people during the 14th century.  It has a 95% mortality rate and dramatically shaped the course of human development by wiping out over 60% of the population in some European countries.  The Center for Disease Control stated that this would be the first incident on American soil since 2012, and the first known “patient zero” that had ever contracted the disease without leaving her hometwon.

Fuller confirmed that she had some of the worst symptoms, including a high fever, gangrene, chills, and necrosis in her extremities.  She also mentioned repeatedly that she could still eat, in case anyone at the office wanted to Doordash her some Chipotle.

Fuller told her boss that she was expecting to feel better tomorrow and would most likely be in the office.

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