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Bird Taunts Office With Freedom of Flight

La Jolla, CA – Office workers at Pixodo spent their afternoon meeting staring longingly at Darwin, a two year old seagull that routinely flies outside the main conference room windows.  The seagull has become aware of the employees’ attention: a mix of jealousy, envy, happiness, and repressed suicidal thoughts about the banality of their daily lives.

“I love flying around that office and looking at their stupid faces,” Darwin said.  “They’re all just sitting there wishing they could be anywhere else but where they are, and then they see me, and suddenly it dawns on them that they’ll never be as free as me.”

Danielle Mathis, VP of finance, confirmed that she now spends more time staring at Darwin’s flight pattern than whatever is being discussed.  “There was a presentation about how effectively we’re managing our marketing budget, and I probably just watched that bird fly for 45 minutes straight.”

Darwin acknowledged Mathis’ gaze, and went out of his way to provide a show.  “Sometimes I do that thing where I’ll ride a big wind and just stay in the same place like I can’t move forward, and I can see them looking at it as a metaphor for how they’re stuck in a rut in their own lives,” he mused.

“Then I’ll just take off really quick to show them that I can leave whenever I want, ’cause I’m a (expletive) bird.”

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