Elon Musk Has Mastered the Backhanded Apology

Billionaire playboy Tony Stark Bruce Wayne  Elon Musk decided last night to bring back airquotes by “apologizing” to Vern Unsworth, who Musk called a “pedo” after Unsworth blasted his submarine rescue idea.

As anyone with siblings knows, the “he started it” argument never really stops your parents from grounding you, and it doesn’t really absolve Musk here, either.  It also doesn’t help when you get super-petty super-quick.  Sure, Unsworth started this when he told Musk to “stick his submarine where it hurts“, but no one’s actually sitting at home thinking Musk could actually physically do it.  Musk not only called Unsworth a pedo, but he stated the claim as fact since there’s no other reason for a middle-aged white man to live in Thailand.

This is obviously the result of pressure from Tesla investors, who are starting to question whether the guy who sells flamethrowers is as stable and visionary as they previously believed.  The submarine scandal parallels many of Tesla’s most recent issues, such as over-promising his ability to produce a fixed quantity by a set date and picking fights with regulators and fact-checkers when the data reflects poorly on Tesla.  At this rate, Musk is dangerously close to shouting “fake news” and creating his own news site – whoops, nevermind, he’s already there.

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