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Woman Currently In Middle Of Game Of Thrones’ First Season Demands Coworkers Don’t Spoil Final Episode


Portland, OR – After spending her Sunday watching the first three episodes of Game of Thrones, marketing manager Jenna Schmidt has politely yet sternly requested that no one else at work discuss any of single detail from the award-winning show’s series finale. Schmidt also demanded that no one discuss anything from the fourth episode on, though she was quick to…

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Trust Fall Quickly Followed Up With Apology Lift


Joshua Tree, CA – With her coworkers too busy arguing about whether to catch on “three” or immediately after, Robyn Hodges was left sprawling on her back after a simple team-building exercise went disastrously wrong. As Hodges laid on the ground with a mild concussion, she couldn’t help but laugh at how her coworkers were just as unreliable with her…

Communication Issues Impact Outsourced Indian Tech Team As They Struggle To Understand American Office’s Bastardized English Dialect


Chennai, India – After receiving yet another email filled with grammatical mistakes and spelling errors, India Solutions CEO Mukul Dhingra was forced to delay his timeline due to a recurring breakdown in communication stemming from his client, Emojis4Lyfe, failing to have a basic understanding of the English language. When Emojis4Lyfe’s CEO sent a Snap rapping about his displeasure with the…

Another Intern Mysteriously Disappears Attempting To Feed CEO’s Pet Tiger


Las Vegas, NV – Coworkers at Vegas Pyrokinetics recorded the disappearance of Tyrese Duncan by adding his name to their growing “2019 Missing Intern Tracker”, a dashboard assembled after 14 previous interns failed to ever return to work after being instructed to feed Dimitry Porozkyev’s pet Bengal tiger, Sprinkles. Despite their disappearance, employees noted that Vegas Pyrokinetics’ careers page still…

NRA’s H.R. Director Sends Sternly-Worded Email Reminding Employees To Refill Office Ammo Dispensers


Washington, D.C. – Frustrated to find the National Rifle Association’s free-to-take 9mm ammunition tray empty once again, H.R. director Wendy Miller sent a company-wide email reminding employees anyone who takes the last available ammo from one of the many munitions dispensaries within the office is expected to get more from the supply cabinet. The email lectured NRA employees that they…

Office Workers Flee In Terror After Man Enters Premises Wielding Acoustic Guitar


Dallas, TX – Screaming in terror upon seeing Armando Fillion walking toward the office while cradling his custom purple Martin D-15M acoustic guitar in his arms, coworkers immediately stopped what they were doing to flee through the nearest emergency exits. Fillion, who could be heard repeatedly screwing up the opening to Oasis’ “Wonderwall”, had long made aggressive remarks about bringing…

Completely Out Of Nowhere “Dilly-Dilly” Reference Kills It During Meeting


Orlando, FL – Feeling that the meeting’s mood could use a dash of his irreverent humor after learning that the company still had yet to turn a profit, social media manager Clint Griffith pierced the silence by reciting the Bud Light “dilly-dilly” marketing slogan , drawing uproarious laughter from his coworkers. Despite having no marketing background of his own, Griffith…

Overly Ambitious Coworker Jumps Straight To Megadosing Various Hallucinogens


Stockton, CA – After reading about Silicon Valley executives experiencing improved productivity due “micro-dosing” drugs like LSD and mushrooms, Krista Robbins recently began what she refers to as “mega-dosing”, where she will take three to four hallucinogens daily. Robbins explained to coworkers that if someone like Tim Ferris is seeing positive results from taking a quarter serving of LSD every…